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When Formal Meditation Practice Doesn’t Work
Because Your Mind is Too Busy | Deep Dive "Into The Magic Shop" (2/5)
I tried “mindfulness” for the first time in a London Underground Train.
My therapist had given me “homework” to do in between our sessions. I had refused to go on medication to manage the plethora of mental health challenges I was struggling with.
I was working with her to find alternate ways of managing my mental health. She gave me a worksheet with a few mindfulness exercises to try. One of them was practising mindful awareness of sounds in my environment.
The worksheet instructed me to pay attention to my breath, and to open my awareness to my environment. Whenever I heard a sound, I was to notice and see how my body responded to the sound. The worksheet told me to pay attention to the sensations that arise in the body, and if any thoughts arise, just be curious and bring my attention back to my breath.
The tube was nearly empty. It was 7 p.m. on a Sunday night. Very few people were in the carriage, all either nodding off, listening to music or burying their heads in their Kindles.
No one pays attention to anyone else in a tube, so this was an excellent time to try these exercises. I was reluctant to try them on my own and wanted to do them where I wouldn’t be alone and would be ignored. What better place to do this than a tube?
I sat erect, closed my eyes and opened my awareness to the sounds.
I immediately picked up the rattling of the carriage, the shriek of the train as it sped on the track, and the rustling of jackets as people got up from their seats. It was overwhelming to be “assaulted” with so many sounds, which I was previously unaware of.
I had a sense of panic, and I just wanted to shut my ears and scream. I was aware that I was in a public place and couldn’t risk that - public humiliation is something my brain is hyperaware of even when it is in the middle of a panic attack. So I just waited for the next station, bolted out of the train, ran up the elevator and breathed easy only when I entered the open space.
Needless to say, I never tried these exercises again.
Formal meditation practice was too hard.
Twelve years after that incident, I now know why that did not work. Upon reflection, as I've delved into meditation and mindfulness, only just beginning to explore its depths, I've realised that an unguided mindfulness approach might not suit everyone. It certainly wasn't for me when I was just starting to dip my toes into working with my body, heart, and mind.
I would have benefited more from learning to relax and connect with my body instead of diving straight into working with sensory awareness or breath.
Even my formal introduction to mindfulness meditation was all about learning to concentrate and work with the distraction of the mind.
The formal and traditional practices did not stick with me in the initial few years. I found it too hard to keep my wandering mind in check. It was tiring to keep bringing it back to my breath, and most days, I couldn’t even become aware and stay with my breath for longer than 5 seconds.
The Accidental Discovery
In 2017, when I started exploring how to bring mindfulness into my life on an every-day basis consistently, I abandoned all the practices of breath, concentration, and bringing my wandering mind back to the anchor. They were too difficult (does this sound familiar?).
I was struggling with sleep and was diagnosed with a chronic sleep disorder. To ensure that I don’t get dependent on sleeping pills throughout my life, I explored meditations that would help me fall asleep.
I started listening to Yoga Nidra meditations at bedtime. I settled for falling asleep instead of training my mind. And I was slowly able to train my body into a stable sleep routine.
I accidentally learned the value of relaxing my body, but I did not know how important that was to working with my mind. My sleep routine stabilised. A few months later, I was finally able to establish a formal meditation practice and abandoned the Yoga Nidra practice. A big mistake.
The Epiphany
When I read James R. Doty’s book “Into the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon’s Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain and the Secrets of the Heart”, I was struck that the first technique Ruth teaches young Jim is how to relax his body.
That has been a significant epiphany for me.
In my practice, I’ve noticed that my mind is very busy; I notice it and become aware of it, but I find it hard to concentrate. I have not been able to crack this impasse for a long time.
As I read the chapter where Ruth teaches Jim how to relax the body and then teaches how to “tame his mind”, which is the second trick, I realised that I was trying to practice working with my mind and opening my heart without consciously relaxing my body.
I’ve been working with chronic pain for a long time now, so I have no memory of how it feels in my body to be relaxed or at ease. This chapter helped me understand that a relaxed body is where my mind can settle down and my heart can open up. The body being in a relaxed state has been missing for me.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Ruth teaches Jim the technique we know as Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR). Until now, I hadn’t focused on relaxation, and it did not play any role in my everyday routine.
I thought of relaxation as a passive activity. You lie down doing nothing, and your body relaxes. Apparently, it does not.
Edmund Jacobson, a Chicago Physician, developed it to reduce pain and stress and promote health. REDUCE PAIN - I had to read that twice! This technique has been extensively studied, and several studies1 vouch for its effectiveness in reducing stress, anxiety and depression-related symptoms!
Last week, I had just returned from a day out in the hot sun (it is a “hot” summer in India). I struggled to outline an article I was working on. When I checked in with my body, I realised I felt too strung and tired.
I thought this might be a good time to try the Progressive Muscle Relaxation Technique. So I found an audio on Insight Timer and switched it on; within a few minutes, I had drifted off to sleep. When I woke up, I felt groggy but also marginally rested. This is not a familiar experience for me with midday naps.
Another day, I woke up with a pain flare-up in the morning. I lay down on the floor and used the PMR, and after some time, I was able to get up with reduced pain and fatigue.
These experiences have encouraged me to use these techniques as part of my pain management, relaxation and wind-down routine.
The Technique
The PMR technique involves actively contracting muscles to create tension and then progressively relaxing them. For example, you scrunch up your forehead and eyebrows to create tension in those body parts and then release the tension.
You go through each muscle group from the top of the body to the bottom or vice versa, actively creating tension and then releasing it. As you work your way through the body, your brain and body work together to achieve a state of relaxation.
How this works
This technique intelligently uses two approaches that help the body relax, which, scientists say, is called “top-down” and “bottom-up” processing. In “top-down” processing, we use higher regions of our brains to contract our muscles actively and then release them.
When we do so, the holding and releasing of the tension produce a stimulation that is then carried to the brain via the spinal cord and brain stem. A two-way messaging system is activated through this. The brain is speaking to our body, and the body is speaking to the brain. Because of this, this technique offers immediate and quick relief.
In the book, “Into the Magic Shop”, Ruth asks Jim to practice this particular technique for a while, after which she introduces him to the mainstream mindfulness techniques we are familiar with - using the breath as an anchor and bringing the wandering mind back.
This now makes a lot of sense. I did not grasp the significance of this technique when I read it for the first time. Relax the body and then work with the mind.
PMR would be very effective, especially if we struggle with formal meditation practice. Working with the body is the doorway to working with the mind. I have been doing it the other way round. It’s time to try something different with my practice.
Guided Version of PMR
I’ve recorded a version of this technique for you to try and explore this technique. If you practise PMR, please let me know what benefits you have seen with this technique or write back to me in the comment section.
I guide these practices in my Weekly Thursday Sessions, which are held at 2:00 PM IST (9:00 AM UTC). As a paid subscriber, I would like to invite you to join these sessions.
If you would like an invite, please reply to this email, and I will add you to these invites. You are free to drop in without any commitment.
What’s Next
In the next edition, I will explore Ruth’s Trick Number 2 and maybe 3, too.
As a parting thought, I will finish this edition with a story.
The Banquet
A poor man dressed in rags came to the palace to attend the banquet. Out of courtesy, he was admitted, but because of his tattered clothing, he was seated at the very end of the banquet table. By the time the platters arrived at his seat, no food was left on them.
So he left the banquet, returning several hours later dressed in robes and jewels he had borrowed from a wealthy friend. This time, he was brought immediately to the head of the table, and, with great ceremony, food was brought to his seat first.
“Oh, what delicious food I see being served upon my plate.” He rubbed one spoonful into his clothes for every one he ate.
A nobleman beside him, grimacing at the mess, inquired, “Sir, why are you rubbing food into your fine clothes?”
“Oh,” he replied, chuckling, “Pardon me if my robes now look the worst. But it was these clothes that brought me all this food. It’s only fair that they be fed first!”
