In the last edition of this newsletter, we examined the key aspects of the “Working with Difficult Emotions” audiobook by Pema Chodron and key points on how we do the practice. In this edition, we will conclude the reflection on this audiobook by examining the components of training and practice instructions.

Components of Practice

There are two different practices that Pema guides the listeners to in the audiobook “Working with Difficult Emotions” by Pema Chodron. The two practices differ in how the emotion is experienced and used as support. They are

• Contacting the texture of the emotion - noticing its quality. What does it feel like? What is the temperature of the emotion? This is getting in touch with the mental state of the emotion.

• Contacting the felt sense of the emotion in the body - where in the body do you sense the emotion? What does anger, irritation, happiness, joy, or satisfaction feel in the body? Emotions are embodied - that is, they are manifested and expressed in the body. This is getting in touch with the embodied or the physical state of the emotion.

Pema says that for some people, one of the above could be easier to get in touch with, and the other could be difficult. The idea is to find a way to be present fully with the emotion we are practising with.

Contacting the mental state is nebulous for me. I spin off into stories about the situation pretty quickly when I come into contact with my mental state. The physical state tends to linger around. I find it easier to work with the physical state without getting lost in the storyline.

The key components of this practice are

1. Attention on an anchor

2. Resting in Open Awareness or Non Meditation

3. Contacting the Emotion

4. Getting Close to the Emotion

5. Working with Acceptance and Non-judgement

Attention on an Anchor

In this practice, Pema uses breath as an anchor for the place. The attention is placed on the breath. The purpose of the anchor is to bring the mind back to it when we notice that the mind has wandered. This is why training using breath, an anchor present with us until we are alive, is helpful and valuable. Training with the breath helps us build connection with our body and being.

Training with breath has been a tricky part of my meditation practice. I find it hard to get in touch with the breath and stay with it. When it becomes very challenging, I place one hand on my heart and another on my belly to stay present with the embodied sense of the breath as it manifests in my body.

Resting in Open Awareness or Non-Meditation

Pema refers to the space metaphor used by Mingur Rinpoche, a Tibetan Teacher, to explain open awareness or non-meditation.

Contacting the Emotion

We contact the emotion by recalling a memory or a visual scene that brings up a pleasant or unpleasant emotion. When we lose touch with the emotion, as our mind wanders, we can replay the scene in our mind to conjure the emotion once again to train in working with them.

Getting Close to the Emotion

We have explored this at the beginning of the article in detail. We get close to the emotion either by experiencing the quality of the emotion or the felt sense of the emotion in our bodies. We may experience that emotion in multiple places when working with the body. Pema refers to Mingyur Rinpoche again by asking us to pick one part of our body and focus our attention. It could be any part, and we pick one part and work with it. We get close and stay with curiosity. 

Working with Acceptance and Non-Judgement

This is an attitude with which we approach our practice. One of acceptance, curiosity and non-judgement. It is inevitable that during the practice, the mind will wander off, emotions will linger on, we get caught up in stories, or we find it hard to stay with whatever is coming up. So we approach the practice with gentleness, curiosity, acceptance and non-judgement, without classifying anything as right or wrong, good or bad.

Practice Instructions

1. Pick one emotion to work with - pleasant or unpleasant

2. Take a minute and recall a situation from memory as a thought train or visual image that conjures up an unpleasant or pleasant emotion.

3. You can keep your eyes closed or open for this practice.

4. Keep your attention on your breath for some time.

5. Rest in open awareness or non-meditation

6. Recall the memory or visual image that conjures up the emotion

7. Getting Close to the Emotion

8. Resting in open awareness or non-meditation

How To Practice?

You can use the audiobook to practice. The meditations start at 7:00 and 23:00 minutes, respectively.

Alternatively, you can use the Timer functionality on the Insight Timer Meditation app (available to use for free on Apple or Play Store). You can set interval bells to ring at specific periods. For example, 1 minute for Steps 1 and 2, 3 minutes for Step 4, 2 minutes for Step 5, 1 minute for Step 6, 5 minutes for Step 7 and so on. You can set this up based on how much time you’d like to spend on each step.

This particular practice is training for real life, in real life. But it is helpful to train regularly when you are not in the grip of an intense emotion. This way, when we need the practice, we can call upon it effortlessly and implement it to work with whatever is coming up for us.

With this, we conclude the reflections on the “Working with Difficult Emotions” audiobook by Pema Chodron.

Write to Me!

I’d love to know if this guide is helpful for you to practice with. Thank you for subscribing and sticking with me. 

As a parting thought, I will finish this edition with a story.

A Mother’s Advice

Jiun, a Shogun master, was a well-known Sanskrit scholar of the Tokugawa era. When he was young he used to deliver lectures to his brother students.

His mother heard about this and wrote him a letter.:

“Son, I do not think you became a devotee of the Buddha because you desired to turn into a walking dictionary for others. There is no end to information and commentation, glory and honor. I wish you would stop this lecture business. Shut yourself up in a little temple in a remote part of the mountain. Devote your time to meditation and, in this way, attain true realisation.”

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