Coming Closer to Ourselves by Ani Pema Chodron

This is my first edition of the newsletter. I have learnt a lot while listening to the book and writing this post. I am grateful for readers like you, who have subscribed to this newsletter without having read a word of what I will be writing on. Thank you for your encouragement and support.

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This reflection post covers three things in some level of detail.

1) Context and Background about the author and book

2) Exploring the Central Theme of the book

3) An Insight that makes the book worth listening to

Let’s dive straight in.

Context and Background

About the Author (She’s my favourite Buddhist Teacher!)

This is an audiobook by Ani Pema Chodron, the American Tibetan Buddhist Nun. Pema was born Deirdre Blomfield-Brown and was the first American in the Vajrayana tradition to become a fully ordained nun or bhikkuni. She is the disciple of Chogyam Trunpa Rinpoche and has been an influential and transfomative voice in the Tibetan-Buddhist space, making her teachings relevant to regular people like you and me.

She’s absolutely one of my favourite teachers in the realm of meditation and working with oneself path. I could fan-girl about her for an entire week :-) One of the amazing aspects of Pema’s teachings is that you don’t have to be a Buddhist to benefit from them.

About the Book (It is an audio book which has no written book)

Although this particular audio book of hers is slightly different from the other books of hers I came across when I was beginning to meditate. This audio book is a live recording of the teachings Ani Pema gave during a retreat, so it wasn’t written like traditional books. this is not an audio version of a written book.

This book is helpful especially if you are not familiar and are curious about Buddha’s teachings and how the different sects stem from his original teachings. This book is not an a historical or scholastic work, but is rooted in the context of giving us the path, information, attitudes and methods that are available for us to work with our pain and suffering in order to lead a meaningful life and maybe to even attain awakening like the Buddha.

The audiobook, ‘Coming Closer to Ourselves: Making Everything the Path of Awakening’ is available on Audible and has a duration of 5 hours and 14 minutes. This is perfect to listen to on long solitary walks, doing house chores or simply sitting down to be present with the teachings. Pema’s voice is soft and soothing, and the audiobook is filled with moments of humour. So many times when listening to the book (thrice already and counting) I have walked with a big smile plastered on my face. 

The book addresses a profound subject, yet Pema manages to keep it engaging and relatable. She speaks with authenticity and shares her own struggles, which immediately touch the heart. There’s certainly no humble bragging in the book, a hallmark of many books on meditation written by male teachers, and her honestly shines through every word.

Central Theme of the Book - Reject NOTHING, Accept EVERYTHING

As I write this reflection and the posts that follow after based on this book, it is based on my current understanding of the path and teachings. I am hoping that as my practice evolves and matures, and as my contemplation and study deepens, my understanding of the teachings also evolve.

The book is an exposition on the 3 yanas or vehicles that encompass the teachings of the Buddha that provide a path to awaken. This audio book are Pema’s teachings on a retreat and the readings that were given to the practioners and on which the teachings are based are

Chogyam Trunga Rinpoche was a Tibetan Buddhist Master and is recognised as a preeminent teacher of Tibetan Buddhism. He was a major figure in the dessemination of Buddhism in the West introducing the Vajrayana Teachings. He is well known for presenting the teachings of the “Buddha Dharma” without the trappings of the dogma and ritual. So his books are helpful to understand the various Buddhist Texts without getting mired in all the sectarian rivalry that is prevelant in the lands where Buddhism is practiced as a religion. The books by Chogyam Trunpa Rinpoche mentioned above are available for free via Audible if you have an Audible Plus Membership.

Pema says that everything we encounter in our lives is our path to awakening or enlightment. There are two different kinds of encounters we are likely to have

A) Outward manifestations - these includes situations and people we encounter in our lives

B) Inward manifestations - these are thoughts, emotions, sensations and moods that we experience internally

What is the Focus - The Goal or the Path of Awakening?

Awakening or enlightenment is the ultimate outcome of following the path of Buddha’s teachings. This is considered as the goal for all the practitioners for the Dhamma, but I think this is an “unexpected outcome” and not necessarily a goal in itself. Dhamma means to uphold and live by the teachings and actions of the Buddha.

Goal has some weird connotations in the life we lead in this era and I am uncomfortable using that word to describe this path and the work we are trying to do. Goal defines a end point, finish line. We think once we attain the goal, we can rest and relax, and there’s nothing more to do. But in the path of the Dhamma, this is something we work towards even when we think we have attained it. I need oxygen to live, so if I take a breath now doesn’t mean I don’t need to take another breath again. The path of the Dhamma is moment by moment. It is not an ultimate destination that happens at some point and we stay in that state.

There are constant discoveries we make about ourselves, how we relate to each other and the world, and each moment is an opportunity to awaken, to open our minds, hearts and spirits to life. Most male Buddhist teachers I have come across do talk about the goal of the practice, even if in one breath they say you don’t aspire to it, but they do give you vivid descriptions of it that makes you want it so badly.

This is something thankfully I haven’t come across with female Buddhist teachers so far, who don’t talk about the special states nor emphasise attaining it. The focus is primarily on how to live your life and navigate the path with the everyday challenges. Pema is one such teacher who is very relatable, honest and keeps on reminding you that the path is challenging yet fruitful, and she struggles with it like we do.

Sleeping During Meditation Practice (Happens to me way more than I care to admit!)

I was surprised to hear her say that she struggles with periods of sleepiness in her practice. This has been a constant struggle for me, and I thought it was because there was something wrong with me. Maybe I wasn’t putting in enough effort, maybe I was doing it wrong. She says in this book that in our practice there is opening and there is a lot of closing. 

This particular audiobook doesn’t contain meditation instructions or descriptions of meditation practices. This book is helpful and useful if you are familiar with Buddhist path and teachings and you are curious about how everything strings together. I came to this book after having pieced disparate pieces of teachings from various teachers, books, perspectives and resources, and this book helped me to have some structure to understand what is the essence of each “vehicle” and how can I integrate all of it to help me walk the path.

This book has multiple repetitions of teachings and concepts. I think the repetitions are important. When I heard this book the first time, I think I grasped a tiny bit of it. On listening to it the second time, it seemed like I understood it little more. On listening to it the third time, I was astonished by the amount of material that had gone over my head during the first two times of listening. As I’m still a beginner on this path, there may be errors and misinterpretation of the teachings. If you come across any, I would be grateful for your feedback to help me improve my understanding.

I am writing a few (not yet sure how many!) posts each of ~1500-2000 words on various concepts that I have found in the book. The audio book has no accompanying pdf or book, so I will also write a post which can serve as a guide if you intend to listen to the book yourself. These posts will be posted every(ish) Friday and will be accessible if you have a paid subscription. I wouldn’t suggest this if you are not a serious practitioner of meditation or student of working with yourself. The content is useful only if you are able to contemplate, reflect and use it in your own life and practice.

If you’re Indian and would like to upgrade, please reach out and I will provide my Gpay information as the payment system on Substack appears to be not working well for Indian users.

If you would not like to subscribe to a paid membership now, you will have access to all the free posts that I will make available occasionally. Thank you for reading and do let me know what resonated with you in this article.

P.S. If you are still reading, thank you and here’s one of my favourite Zen stories.

The Calling Card

Keichu, the great Zen teacher of the Meiji era, was the head of Tofuku, a cathedral in Kyoto. One day the governor of Kyoto called upon him for the first time.

His attendant presented the card of the governor, which read: Kitagaki, Governor of Kyoto.

“I have no business with such a fellow,” said Keichu to his attendant. “Tell him to get out of here.”The attendant carried the card back with apologies. “That was my error,” said the governor, and with a pencil he scratched out the words Governor of Kyoto. “Ask your teacher again.”

“Oh, is that Kitagaki?” exclaimed the teacher when he saw the card. “I want to see that fellow.”