Discovering Your Craziness

I belong to a local meditation community run by a Buddhist Center. They host regular meditation sessions, and this is their invitation posted on the WhatsApp group.

“Take a break from the chaos and join our meditation session every Monday and Friday evening. Let's unwind together and find tranquility, warm heart and clarity. ❤️”

“All are welcome! No experience necessary, just an open heart. See you there!🌷”

Though well-intentioned, these phrases do not describe the experience of many people who engage in these specific practices.

My meditation sessions are NEVER a break from chaos. I often come face to face with chaos, dive deep into it, and try not to get swept away by my habitual patterns. I have rarely experienced tranquility or a warm heart when sitting down to practice. I feel shut down in my practice.

This is a point Pema Chodron repeatedly emphasises in this book, “How to Meditate: A Practical Guide to Making Friends With Your Mind”.

Pema references another teacher who talks about this experience.

Expectations, Expectations and Disappointment

I had an unvoiced expectation that as I practiced longer, my mind would become more settled. In fact, my current Buddhist teacher says, “Sit for at least 45 minutes every day. As you sit longer, your mind gets more settled.”

I find my mind getting very unsettled the longer I sit. I thought I was doing something wrong, and thankfully, Ani Pema had words of comfort.

A Beginner’s Mind

No one can predict what will happen in a meditation session, even if there are “stages of enlightenment” that depict a “linear path” of what happens when we walk the path of meditation. It is more like a spiral. When we think we have it, we understand what is going on, but life pulls the rug out of our feet and throws us down like a Judo master, pinning us to the ground.

Conclusion

With this, we conclude the deep dive series of How to Meditate: A Practical Guide to Making Friends With Your Mind” by Pema Chodron.

Thank you for letting me share these writings with you. It has been a transformational moment in my life as I read and write about this book. Working through grief, transitions, self-doubts, confusion and sickness, I have enjoyed the messages Ani Pema has spoken to me and offered courage and comfort to me. I hope to stick with my practice.

The next edition of the newsletter will be an RWM Classics Edition. RWM Classics are some of my older editions, which fit in well with the theme we have been exploring in our recent editions.

We conclude this edition with a tiny story this week.

The Stingy Artist

Gessen was an artist monk. Before he started a drawing or painting, he always insisted upon being paid in advance, and his fees were high. He was known as the “Stingy Artist.”

A geisha once gave him a commission for a painting. “How much can you pay?” inquired Gessen.

“‘Whatever you charge,” replied the girl, “but I want you to do the work in front of me.”

So, on a particular day, Gessen was called by the geisha. She was holding a feast for her patron.

Gessen, with a fine brushwork, did the painting. When it was completed, he asked for the highest sum of his time.

He received his pay. Then the geisha turned to her patron, saying: “All this artist wants is money. His paintings are fine, but his mind is dirty; money has caused it to become muddy. Drawn by such a filthy mind, his work is not fit to exhibit. It is just about good enough for one of my petticoats.”

Removing her skirt, she then asked Gessen to do another picture on the back of her petticoat.

“How much will you pay?” asked Gessen.

“Oh, any amount,” answered the girl.

Gessen named a fancy price, painted the picture in the manner requested, and went away.

It was learned later that Gessen had these reasons for desiring money:

A ravaging famine often visited his province. The rich would not help the poor, so Gessen had a secret warehouse, unknown to anyone, which he kept filled with grain, prepared for these emergencies.

The road from his village to the National Shrine was in very poor condition, and many travellers suffered while traversing it. He desired to build a better road.

His teacher had passed away without realising his wish to build a temple, and Gessen wished to complete this temple for him.

After Gessen had accomplished his three wishes he threw away his brushes and artist’s materials and, retiring to the mountains, never painted again.